Level Up Your Family: How To Create a Family Values Statement
When my husband and I got serious about intentionally creating a more loving, unified, and peaceful family, the 1st thing we did was to create a family value statement with our kids!
A family values statement is a declaration of your values and the things you find important as a family, put on display for everyone to see.
In her article for the Values Institute, “A Guide To Family Core Values”, Daniela Kirova explains that having a set of family values are important because they provide structure and clarity, teach respect, aid in communication and help to develop a stronger sense of identity. (2023)
Values Statement vs Mission Statement
A values statement is not just a list of family rules and it’s not the same thing as a family mission statement.
A mission statement is what you do as a family, how you do it and why.
A family values statement is what you stand for as a family, what you believe in, and what is important to you as a group.
Why We Have a Family Values Statement
Communication is a BIG deal in our house! I’m sure anyone with tweens/teens in the house can back me up… we spend a lot of time talking about the right way to express our emotions and opinions in a respectful way.
Clear values make communication easier because everyone is on the same page, working from the same ideas of what’s right and wrong.
We have our Family Values Statement hanging on the wall in our living room to help guide our constant communication efforts, but it also helps our family in other ways:
Keeps Us Mindful and Intentional - do our actions align with our beliefs? Are we behaving in a way that demonstrates what we value as a family?
Great Teaching Tool - our values help us explain why we have the rules we have for our family.
Fosters Team Mentality - working towards a common goal that we created together helps us feel connected to each other.
How To Write Your Family Values Statement
1) Start the Groundwork: introduce the idea of values and discuss creating your own Family Values Statement.
-Throughout the week, maybe at dinner or in the car, talk about what some of your family values are and what each person in the family thinks is important to having a happy family. (examples include: kindness, patience, honesty, responsibility, fun)
-Encourage everyone, with help for little ones, to brainstorm a list of what they would like to include in your statement.
Tip: Don’t be intimidated if you don’t know where to start! Grab our free Our Family Values Brainstorming Worksheet below to get the ball rolling and your family talking!
2) Schedule a Family Meeting: Discuss everyone’s suggestions and narrow down your list to include between 5-10 of the best ones, that everyone agrees on.
3) Add Descriptive Sayings/ Details: Adding additional thoughts to each value makes it more personal for your family and easier to remember.
Example: we have “Chop Wood. Carry Water” next to our family value of hard working. It’s a little saying I picked up from my best friend during college that reminds us that we have daily tasks to complete that might be hard or boring but still need to be accomplished!
4) Create a Poster/ Visual Display of Your Values: This is the fun part! For our poster we used an extra large lined pad of paper I purchased from Amazon, but any large paper/ poster board will work.
Tip: if you are going for something more permanent, design your poster on your computer, (Canva is great for this and free!) and send it to an online printing service.
5) Be Accountable: Have every family member sign the bottom of the poster as an agreement to try his/her best to live by the values your family has adopted.
And, remember, this is a team effort!
So, don’t just point out when your kids mess up, let them tell you when you deviate from the family values too!
6) Have Occasional Check-ins: Have your family’s values changed over time? Does something need to be added, removed or changed?
Having a set of values for our family provides us with a sense of belonging and security. They help us learn love, respect, trust, and communication.
Family values shape behaviors and serve as a compass, helping to guide our decision-making and problem-solving.
Ultimately, our family values statement helped us “level up” our family and I hope it will help your too!
Download our free Family Values Brainstorming Worksheet to get your family talking and the ideas flowing!
If you’re looking for more ways to help your family build deeper connections, check out these resources:
Color Together Coloring Books - a creative way to spend time with someone special!!!
The Secret to Crafting a Kick*ss Life- MonkeyBugBean
The Essential Guide to Speaking Kind Words: Encourage and Uplift Your Loved Ones -MonkeyBugBean
A Guide to Family Core Values by Daniela Kirova at the Values Institute
List of Family Values by Amy Guertin at LoveToKnow.com
How to Instill Family Values That Align With Your Own by Shonna Waters PhD. at BetterUp.com